Sex Education

The American College of Pediatricians believes that teaching children about the design for sex (sexual intimacy), the biology of sex, the ethics of sex, when and how much sexual intimacy is appropriate, and the consequences of sexual relations are all primarily the responsibility of parents. Religious communities, schools, and pediatricians have a role in assisting parents with accurate information, reinforcing parental values, and encouraging behaviors that lead to the best long-term outcomes.

Toddlers should be taught their own biological sex and the fact that boys and girls are different, but of equal value. Every part of their body is either a girl part or a boy part and always will be.  Preschoolers must learn what parts of their body are private, and to be seen or touched only by parents or by a physician when a parent is present.  They should be taught that all babies need a mother and a father and that babies grow in a special place inside their mother before they are born. Education during the latency years of 5-9 years should focus on character development, friendship and on the non-sexual benefits of marriage (mutual help and companionship).

Physical changes of puberty ideally should be taught by the parent of the same sex and in single sex classes in schools, in order to minimize embarrassment and potential grooming of children by disinhibition and invasion of privacy. However, character building, friendship building, benefits of abstinence until marriage, and the importance of spousal character can be taught in mixed classes. These classes on relationships should emphasize the necessity of mutuality and the benefits of delayed gratification. The negatives of cohabitation should also be taught, including its higher breakup rate compared to marriage. Parents should lead by example and should teach both consequences of poor decisions and forgiveness.  They should monitor their children’s activities and help their child find productive alternatives to obtain the “dopamine high”  often sought by teens.

School-based comprehensive sex education (CSE) curricula focus on risk reduction (so called “safe” sex), rather than risk avoidance (sexual abstinence). Consequently, these programs have failed to demonstrate long-term effectiveness by trivializing sexual abstinence among adolescents and have failed to increase long-term condom and contraceptive use among sexually active youth. School-based sexual risk avoidance (SRA) curricula focus on the primary public health principle of risk avoidance and thereby uphold the highest attainable standard of health for all students.  These have been shown to significantly delay the onset of sexual debut among adolescents without diminishing condom use among sexually active teens. Pediatricians can provide information on the risks, mode of action, and efficacy of contraception without endorsing it for the unmarried, recognizing that families and various religious communities have different views on the ethics of contraception for married couples. Curricula should teach that the most effective way to reduce sexually transmitted infections is to limit sexual contact to one’s faithful spouse in the context of marriage.

Sex education in schools for practical reasons usually ends after 9th grade.  However, the highest risk years for non-marital sex, pregnancy, and abortion are ages 18-24 when the brain is still immature with impulse and emotion overriding reason. Parents should reinforce the benefits of marriage and risks of non-marital sex. While emphasizing their high expectations for proper decisions, parents should model forgiveness in the face of poor choices by the child and work with their child to face the undesirable consequences.

The American College of Pediatricians recommends the adoption of sexual risk avoidance (SRA) programs by all school districts in lieu of curricula described as comprehensive sex education (CSE).  The American College of Pediatricians also recognizes the authority of parents as the first and ultimate teachers of sex education, and encourages pediatricians to support parents in this endeavor by providing accurate information and visible support of the parents in the presence of the child.